It’s 1972, and we have been brought out of retirement – at least temporarily – to introduce the new season with the official power rankings. The excitement in the air as the season starts is so palpable you could trip over it. Unfortunately, we didn’t get to actually making preseason power rankings, and are therefore stuck with two-weeks-in syndrome. In the preseason rankings we would have put St. Boni in the top five, for example. Where do we put them after an astonishing 2-10 start? We can’t just rank them #24, can we? Similarly, Halifax won all of 60 games last year, so what do we do with their 7-5 start? We’ll do the best we can, but we just wanted to say up front that it is difficult to deal with two-weeks-in syndrome. Anyway, we don’t know how long we’ll stay out of retirement, but for now, on to the rankings…

1.        Falls Church Frenzy – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

A 10-3 start coming off of their World Series championship season makes it an obvious choice to put the Frenzy in the top spot in the rankings. They’re doing it just like they did it last year: pitching. If you take out the debacle of starting closer Mike Grimes in place of the injured Glen Cotner one game (3 batters faced, zero outs, 2 earned runs), the starting rotation is 5-2 with a 2.24 ERA so far this season.

2.        New York Empire – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

Just to keep the top of the power rankings from having something new, the other half of last year’s World Series, the Empire, also are off to a 10-3 start. New York is doing it with pitching, too, especially Melvin Allshouse, who, despite the handicap of being named Melvin, is already 3-0 with a 1.17 ERA. And 4 out of 5 New York starters, Mr. Melvin included, have a WHIP of 1.0 or less.  

3.        Boston Big Digs – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

It’s early, but it’s been a good start for our new favorite player, at least in terms of name comicality, Chang Newbill. He’s hitting .316 so far. Normally, a player hitting .316 in 19 at-bats wouldn’t be enough to warrant a mention in the power rankings. But the man’s name is Chang Newbill. Not quite the ring of Tanner Patty, but still quite pleasing to the ear.

4.        Spalding Aeros – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

The Aero offense has scored the most runs in the league in only 11 games (2 fewer than Falls Church and New York, for example). Leading the way has been first baseman Mark Carroll, who already has 7 multi-hit games this season (including one 5-hit game) and has 7 hits in 11 at-bats against lefties. Also, not to be forgotten is the Sausage King himself, Sean Froman, who is hitting .458 on the young season.

5.        Chattooga Eagles – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

Early in his career, Lee Lowe looked like a good bet to set an all-time wins record that would stand for a long time. But that won’t happen if his Eagles’ teammates have any say. And so far, they have. Lowe has given up all of 4 runs in his three starts this year (20 innings). The Eagles were shut out (1-0 and 3-0) in two of those games and scored 3 runs (in 10 innings) in the other game, leaving Lowe at 0-2 despite his 1.80 ERA.

6.        Bradford Bulls – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

Watch as Lee Lowe drools over the run support Lloyd Dupree has gotten so far, 23 runs in 3 games started, making him 2-0 despite his 6.19 ERA. Anyway, Bradford has a set of young talented hitters ready to make their mark. It’s too bad that two of their top young players, Tom Lejeune and Willie Anderson, play the same position as Paul Edginton (first base), who has handling that position quite ably for this franchise for the last 7 years, with an OPS over .800 each of the last 4 seasons.

7.        Orchard Park Blizzard – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

The best start for any pitcher has to go to Ken Opp, who has yet to give up a run in his three wins. Thanks to the magic of proportionality, we can project that if he keeps up what he’s been doing – he doesn’t even have to improve any to pull this off, keep in mind – he will finish the season 36-0 with a 0.00 ERA in his 271 innings pitched. We, for one, think he can do it.

8.        St. Louis Assault – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

Bill Rubalcaba might just be the George Stallman for a new generation. Stallman, of course, caught all 162 games for Ridge in 1959 and hit .131 with no power in 567 at-bats. Well, Rubalcaba is trying to replicate that feat, catching all 11 games this season while wasting 48 at-bats with his .125 batting average and .289 OPS. On the other hand, unlike Stallman, who never even attempted a stolen base in his brief big-league career, Rubalcaba is 4 for 4 in stolen bases this year and was 26 for 30 last year. When’s the last time you saw a catcher run like that?

9.        Homer Yetis – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

The Yetis paid 8 million a year for 4 years to have Todd Chang bat 7^th in their lineup. We like Chang, but think it makes a better first name than last name. Meanwhile, Stump Murray had better start hitting soon. His .560 OPS doesn’t work well hitting behind Ernest Alberty, who might start to see a lot of free passes as the season goes on (hard to believe he hasn’t been intentionally walked yet this year). Not getting any offense from Murray is a problem because he’s already by far the worst defensive shortstop in the league. Still, that hasn’t kept the Yetis from a quick 7-4 start to the season.

10.     Superior Moo – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

The Bovine offense is on fire to start the season, led by a potential rookie of the year candidate, the redundantly named Nick Nichols. He’s the #8 hitter in the lineup, but he already has 10 runs scored and 7 RBIs. He started the season in style, going 2-for-3 against David Toon, winner of the past two CAHMWLPOTY awards.

11.     St. Boni Bashers – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

It’s hard to go 2-10 and make the top half of the power rankings, but the Bashers have pulled it off. It’s easy to see where they’ve gone wrong so far. Dee Terry: 4.85 ERA; Park Seung-Yeop: 4.74 ERA; Felix Sanchez: 10:57 ERA; Jin-Soon Kim: 8.68 ERA; Andres Guerrero: 3.75 ERA. Those five starting pitchers are a combined 1-8 this year. For the record, their combined career numbers are 367-281 with a 3.48 ERA. So we definitely see this pitching staff rebounding.

12.     Medicine Hat Juffowup – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

The Vipe…Mysti…Juffowup (Juffowup???) invested 15 million dollars into the diminutive lefty Chris Tso, who had by far the best season in his career last season, at the age of 35, when he went 18-4 with a 2.71 ERA. Prior to that he was 56-68 in his career with a 3.95 ERA. So they were banking on him repeating last season’s performance for the next two years. Unfortunately for the Vipe…Mysti…Juffo… Unfortunately for Medicine Hat, Tso is making it look like last season was the aberration, 0-2 with a 5.52 ERA this year.

13.     Vienna Buzz – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

In 11 games, the Buzz are scoring only 3.27 runs again, thanks largely in part to hitting only 3 home runs. The middle of the lineup combination of Bosquet, Fogel, and Rivero have slugging percentages of .286, .244, and ..311, respectively. Those numbers will obviously improve, which is why we’re willing to rank a 2-9 team so high.

14.     Honshu Nymphs – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

Tim Nicklas might be 39 years old, but he’s still going strong, 2-1 with a 1.17 ERA so far this year. He’s 4 wins away from reaching 200 for his career, he’s never won fewer than 10 games a year, and is well on his way to Hall of Fame Consideration. More impressively, he’s led this Honshu pitching staff to allowing the fewest runs in the league, including 3 shutouts.

15.     Latrobe Lightning – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

The Lightning haven’t gotten a whole lot of production from their 4-man catcher/first base platoon. Between Ronny Suarez, Harvey Swensen, Lloyd Stovall, and Steven Grable, this group has combined for a .180 batting average, .204 on-base percentage, and .281 slugging percentage in 93 plate appearances largely flushed down the toilet.

16.     Halifax Atlantics – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

Halifax started 7-5, but we’re not ready to anoint them the comeback team of the year just yet. Excuse us if their 102 losses last season has us a bit wary. The addition of George Dunneback has paid off so far, as he is 2-1 with a 0.82 ERA so far (and has an .833 OPS at the plate!). Also, it’s nice to Old Man (Archie) Robinson find a new home in this his 18^th full season in the majors. Too bad he can’t hit anymore.

17.     Bowie Knives – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

Julian Oquendo was impressive, hitting .301 as a rookie last year. This year, as a 25 year old veteran, he’s being counted on to lead the team, and he hasn’t disappointed, hitting .347 so far. But it seems like someone who hits in the #2 hole who has been on base 22 times already this season should have scored more than 6 runs by now.

18.     Biloxi Hurricanes – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

We’re not sure why Biloxi wanted Dan Curcio’s almost 19 million dollar a year salary for the next four years (Curcio will be 38 years old when he is making his last 19 million). By the way, he has a 9.31 ERA so far this season. He’s been a good role model for 21 year old megaprospect Chad Nieman, who has allowed 5 earned runs in each of his start without ever making it out of the fifth inning. In fact, in his last start he never even recorded a single out. Despite allowing 18 hits, 7 for extra bases, so far this year, we think Nieman is going to be a stud in the not-too-distant future.

19.     Texas Timewarp – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

In three starts Mike Bashir’s longest outing lasted 2 innings. That’s rough on the bullpen. And speaking of the bullpen, one pitcher in that bullpen is rule 5 pick Ron Ellison, who is 25 years old and had a 6.13 ERA in 47 innings in single-A last year. Ellison was an 8^th round pick back in 1967 but a lot of scouts see a world of potential in this kid. We see a guy who isn’t even good enough to start in single-A taking up a major league roster spot.

20.     Melbourne Mosquitoes – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

Oh Billy Long, what happened to you? Remember that former #1overall pick who came up in 1958 as a surefire Hall of Famer, then was always a pretty good hitter but never a great one? Who only twice in his career hit better than .280? Well now he has a .070 slugging percentage in 43 at-bats for the Bugs. Billy, way to go out not with a bang but a whimper.

21.     Cold Blitz – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

Ghost McNeese, who has been absolutely dominant so far this year, with RBIs in 8 games, for a total of 17 on the year, second only to Spalding’s Juan Sierra. Including McNeese, this team is stacked in the outfield, with good players like Dillon Mayon, James Beltran, and Cristian Alvarez – guys who could start on a lot of teams in this league – wasting away on the bench. Maybe some of them can be used as trade bait to improve a lackluster pitching staff.

22.     Chessie Ironhorse – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

The death watch is on for Don Nelson, the world’s oldest 36 year-old. Chessie continues to keep Nelson around in hopes that he might somehow hit those 7 home runs he needs to pass Robert Ritz for the career home run lead (7 homers would put him at 400 for his career). Here’s a clue: it’s not going to happen. Nelson hit one home run last year (probably in Honshu…we’re just guessing) in 215 at-bats. Whatever he sold to the devil to be the dominant player he once was, the devil has come to collect.

23.     South Beach Sunburn – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

The Burn made out well in the Quinn/Curcio deal, dumping what will be a huge hunk of dead salary in a couple years in return for a young star hitter in Quinn. Quinn has a chance to do something special here. Mike Skipworth, now in Vienna, is the career leader with 254 times caught stealing. Well Quinn is only 29 and has been thrown out 117 times in the last 3 seasons trying to steal, giving him 180 CS already on his young career. And he’s already been caught stealing 3 times this year (succeeding once!). This will be something exciting to watch over the next several seasons (not really).

24.     St. Paul Stogies – Previous Ranking: N/A (-) –

A .459 OPS wasn’t what the Stogies had in mind when they shelled out 10 million a year for the next 4 years to get Erik Eno. We think it’s fair to say he’ll get better, even if we wonder if his career stats are a bit inflated by him former home park (Honshu). We were certainly impressed by him only striking out 15 times in 607 at-bats last year, though.

Finally, to start the season, we’ll give…

…OUR FEARLESS PREDICTIONS

Williams League:

DiMaggio Champs: Falls Church – No reason to think they won’t be right back where they were last year.

Foxx Champs: Superior – Another tight race between the Cows and Pigcats, but we’ll go with Superior this time.

Feller Champs: St. Louis – We really don’t know who else to pick here, so let’s go with what worked last year.

Wild Card: Homer – Homer surprises a lot of people, edging out Spalding for the wild card.

WL Champion: Falls Church – David Toon just keeps winning.

Mays League:

Musial Champs: Orchard Park – 3 teams compete for the division, none compete for the wild card.

Banks Champs: Boston – A good race between Boston and New York, both competing for the ML’s best record.

Gibson Champs: Chattooga – Another great race between the Eagles and Bashers, with the Eagles winning.

Wild Card: New York – The Empire make it back to the playoffs, edging out the Bashers for the wild card.

ML Champion: Chattooga – The Eagles and Diggers give us a 7-game MLCS for the ages.